Wednesday, December 21, 2011

merry christmas darlings.

happy holidays blog readers. this christmas i challenge us all to give back. think about it. we get so much, we are so blessed. and there are others out there that aren't quite as lucky as we are. the other day i wanted to literally jump out of my moving car to put a dollar in the salvation army bucket. but i was driving. so i didn't. even giving a little bit gives a lot more than we'd think. caroling. reading a book. even leaving a little note letting someone know that you care. everyone wants to be cared about. so how about we reach out this holiday season, and pay it forward. i think in doing that we can all truly find the meaning of christmas. it isn't about presents at all, but the love in giving. have a great 25th bloggers.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

wouldn't you like to be older and married with me.

oh it is love.
from the first time i set my eyes
upon yours
think oh,
is it love?

oh it is love.
from the first
time i put my hand
into yours
thinking oh,
is it love?

oh it is love
from the first
time i pressed my lips
against yours
thinking oh,
is it love?

oh how i love hellogoodbye.

holding out for a hero.

this song gives me chills everytime.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

today is a much better day.

just a smidge brokenhearted.

don't worry... i haven't really had my heart broken literally. i'm still in love. but something is off with me. i'm down. i'm really down. and i am not usually the type to want to be down. i suppose somedays are harder than others. and today for reasons unknown i feel a smidge brokenhearted. i miss my bo. and i've hurt myself. and school is temporarily over. and i'm just a bit empty. but no worries. i'm a strong little lady. and i'll pick myself up. there is always hope of a better tomorrow. being brokenhearted isn't always a forever type deal.

Thursday, December 8, 2011


i remember when you told me that when you first started texting me you thought i had to be fat or ugly because pretty girls just weren't that nice.

i remember when you told me i was the most beautiful girl you had ever seen.

i remember when you told me you loved me and you were so scared that i could barely hear you.

i remember when i said it back and you smiled ear to ear.

i remember the first time we went to the park together, and i sat on the swing and you brushed a stray peice of hair behind my ear very stereotypically.

i remember when we both swung on the swings at the park because we thought it'd be romantic, but really both of us get nauseous on swings, we were just faking it because we thought the other liked it.

i remember when you first held my hand, i was telling you a story about my scar, and you very smooth like put your hand in mine.

i remember when you first took my breath away.

i remember when we first danced together as a couple, to angel by jack johnson playing on pandora as we danced all alone in the back of the elementary school.

i remember our anniversary and how i bought new clothes and went tanning and got a mani/pedi done because i wanted to look absolutely stunning for you.

i remember when you took me to the waterfall and we stood under the freezing water for about two seconds before chickening out.

i remember our last monday together before your mission. and how when i saw you i lept into your arms because i couldn't even contain myself anymore.

i remember when my parents said i couldn't see you before you left, and i was crying hysterically and you calmed me down instead of getting angry.

and i remember how you drove down to see me for just twenty minutes because you wanted to see me one last time.

i remember calling you after you left, and you were crying, which of course made me cry and we had a lovely cry together.

i remember the last words you ever said to me before you shipped off to the MTC. "i love you baby, i'll see you soon."

i love remembering. it makes me really happy. because i know that we have so many memories. and we get to make even more later in life. you aren't gone for a long time. it's just a little bit. so thank you michael for the memories. they are something nice to hold onto when i'm feeling down. i love you, i'll be seeing you. te amo.

Sunday, December 4, 2011


i've been a smidge down lately. maybe it's because of finals coming up. or because semester is ending. i'm not sure... i've just been down. so i've decided to change some things. here is my manifesto on how to stop feeling so down. i know this will be the first step to truly being happy again.

1. Stop bad talking people. every single person in this world is a beautiful son or daughter of God and they deserve to be treated as such. hurting someone whether they know i'm doing it or not is never okay. there is never an excuse for that. ever. so it is the first thing to go.

2. choose the right. i always wear a ring on my finger that says this... but i need to do it more. not in just a religious way... but also in a life way. i need to make better choices.

3. be more social. i need to talk to people. and smile and let them know that even if i hardly know them i care about them. everyone deserves a friend.

This is what i believe i need to start doing to feel better about myself, i've been doing a lot of self evaluation lately and i know that i want to be a better person. feel free to join me on my soul searching journey. i think it;d be good for the world to go through these changes. but maybe by just changing me i can make a difference. a small difference, but a difference all the same.

Sunday, November 27, 2011

new obsessions.

yes bloggers, i have become uncontrollably addicted to the vampire diaries. I love it. and in a manner of 2 weeks i have completely caught myself up on everything mystic falls. yep i watched every single episode. i can't wait til january 5th.

Friday, November 18, 2011

i was running.

i was running bloggers. running away from a past i didn't want anyone to know about. i was depressed bloggers. i wrote my heart into poems, and put those poems on a blog. and then i hid that blog from the world. i just now went back. i read the words i had written. and they were beautiful. painfully beautiful. and i decided i can't hide how i was. i need to share my words. the great thing about forever changing, is that, the girl i was, who wrote those some heartbreaking words, does not consume me any longer. but her story is beautiful. so i am no longer running. no longer hiding. i give my words to you and you can take them as you will. part of growing up and moving on is accepting what has happened in the past. so please. be my guest. read my words. i am giving them to you.

visit my poetry blog. the link is below.

LuLu Lya Speaks

let me know what you think. it's been a long time since i have let anyone read those words.

forever changing.

somethings touch you. and change you. and make you want to be better. some people touch you. and change you. and make you want to be better. we are an ever evolving humanity. not one human being in the whole world can stay exactly the same forever. everyday is a new day. a cliche i've heard for as long as i can remember. but it's true. who in this world gets up at exactly 7:03 every day and gets dressed in precisely 5.25 minutes and takes exactly the same number of steps in exactly the same spots every single day. the answer is no one. we are all changing bloggers. isn't it wonderful. we are growing up. every day. never stopping for one moment.

i hope i am becoming better. changing for better. growing into an immovable tree with beautiful leaves and scars on my bark. we are forever changing. and i am embracing it. care to join me?

Monday, November 14, 2011

researching & papers.

i should be writing a research paper right now. should being the key word.

lyrics from the mind of scout.

a song i wrote dedicated to my lovely cowboy proudly serving the people of texas mcallen

we said goodbye
you kissed my lips one last time
you looked at me
with those big brown eyes
and i cried.

you touched my cheek
and you said
baby we don't have to speak
i've got it all in my heart
here it is:

I know that you know
that you make me happy
and even though we'll be far apart
your soul will still sing to me.

and everyday in every way
i'll feel your heart beating
cause you know that i know
that you love me.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

three months tomorrow. i am so proud of you elder bybee. i won't ever stop loving you. not even for a minute.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

viva italia.

italy here i come. everyone cross your fingers for me that i will be accepted in the summer abroad dance program to italy. what a dream.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

kicking my bum.

Dance is kicking my bum. but i know and understand that i am not the best. and maybe i will never obtain greatness to the worlds standards. but i can obtain greatness for me. i can be great just for me. i am here to learn. i am here to grow. i am not here to show off. or to trump someone else. so though dance is kicking my bum... i think i need it kicked. because that means i am learning something. which is what i'm spending all my money on. so thank you dance... and education. for kicking my bum and keeping me in line. i look forward to it... for the rest of my life.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

flying away.

southern bird.

your wings have spread, and you are flying away.

away not alone but away together.

your life is new, as you are flying away.

no longer just a daughter, but also a wife.

things will be different, now that you're flying away.
but different good, change embraced.

you are still wonderful, though you are flying away.
and we still love you.

Your four little birds.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

what matters most.

what. matters. most.

where do our hearts lie.

are they where they need to be.

or are where we want them to be.

what matters most?

is it your job

or your education

your religion

your family.

what is it that matters most.

it's different for everyone.

and i suggest you find what it
is for you.

because life is too short...

too not have your priorities straight.

power of the pen.

words on a sheet. make my heart melt. letters and numbers and symbols. written long hand, can change the world. making words, feeling emotion, all from a pen on a page. there is such power in the pen. a permanent mark on piece of parchment, a declaration, a treaty, a letter, a memoir. these are what should matter. not the keys, not the screens. but the pen on the paper. people don't write letters enough.
the wind is whipping your hair. and you feel like nothing will slow you down. your feet are light as you feel you could just fly. but then you don't. why? you lose your momentum and stop at the edge of the cliff.

what if my wings wont catch the air.
what if the winds are too much to bare.
what if i break and fall towards the ground.
what if i'm lost and cannot be found.

what if i make a mistake too big to take back
what if i fall off the right track.
what if my words hurt someone i love.
and what if my actions feel like a shove.

what if i'm wrong when i thought i was right.
what if i sit in the dark instead of the light.
what if.

i am scared to fly.

i will catch you.
you wont fall.
i will meet you halfway.
and i will love you anyway.
trust me little bird.

the wind is whipping your hair. and you feel like nothing will slow you down. your feet are light as you feel you could just fly.

and you do.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011


Sunday, July 31, 2011

romance & comedy.

what a wonderful blend. always so predictable. the boy meets the girl, they find happiness together, one of them keeps a secret, secret gets blown, they are torn apart, and by the end they are in love again. but that predictability makes me love them. though the world keeps on changing my chick-flicks will always be constant. i can't help that i love the cheesiness. i am really lame.. a hopeful romantic, that is super cheesy herself. but thats okay, because life should get to be like a romantic comedy at least some of the time.

sending kisses.

as best said by aunt judy,

you can send him blown kisses and he we will get them in a matter of minutes.

i love that.

genuinely happy.

i am genuinely happy today. jack johnson always seems to make my days brighter, he is playing in the background as i type. i have been so busy that now that my mind is slowed down i think of how lucky i am. i am living and breathing and in love with the world. and i have a bright future ahead of me. and i wish everyone felt like that. even in the darkest of times we are all blessed in some way or another. somewhere out in this crazy world someone loves you. just remember life is for living not sulking. be happy in the skin you were given because it is beautiful. you are beautiful. and you deserve to be genuinely happy. wishing you the best.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

blast off.

The dreaded day has finally come. puffy eyed and runny nosed i have survived. i can't really sleep. even though i need to. i have early work. i guess i just have a lot to say.

dear love,

i am so proud of you. you are a tremendous
man and you will always be in my heart.
forever and ever you are my guy.
no matter what anybody else says
you make me happy
and you make me feel loved.
and though you are gone temporarily
it's only a few seconds right.
make me proud.
give 'em heaven.
i love you.

your lady.

and then. he was gone. for now.
*we may only have tonight.
but til the morning comes
you're mine
all mine

play the music low
and sway to the rhythm of love..*
goodbyes are hard.

Sunday, July 3, 2011


not to be confused with parrotism. or riotism. i love america. i love that people fight to keep us free. i love that in this country i have rights. and i love that i can vote. i love that i am free. the fourth of july always seems to make me proud to be an american. so the government isn't so great sometimes, and maybe there are things that are wrong. but with just me being an american i am proud, everything else could be wrong. but i'm still free.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011


the countdown commences. i am more in love today than when i first said those three little words that changed my soul. love is a funny little thing. i never thought that at the baby age of nineteen i would ever feel it. i am blessed.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

navy taxi.

Carry your bags and a navy taxi man said take your time love
cause you don't have to rush.
cause it's your life and its no one elses sweetheart.
don't let someone put you in a box.

so i take all that other stuff that i said before
and i'm gonna make it work
cause i'm losing my mind and it's driving me up the wall

this time it will be different.

well said miss nash.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011


we are different love.
I didn't fall in love with you one day. i fall in love with you everyday.
i loved the person i was. and i love the person i am now from knowing you.

we are different love.
you are thirty three point seven miles away from me.
and everyday i still feel in my heart that you are with me.

I only see you two times per week.
and as the count down commences
each day in between is longer. and every moment together is shorter...

sixty four days. sixty four more days of your smiling face only thirty three point seven miles away. but we are different love. and i will smile as i send you away. and it will hurt a smidge. because i love you. but because i do i can grow while you are away. solidify the lady i want to be and stay forever. and when you come home, i will be here. because we are different. and though we will change and grow as two, our souls are still one. because what we have in our hearts is different.

Sunday, May 8, 2011

me+mr.bybee+suprise date+thor=magical saturday night.
i really love umbrellas.

maya the fourteenth.

happy fourteenth birthday maya.

Monday, May 2, 2011


lovely isn't it.

this photograph is not my own. thank you anonymous photographer for your pure inspiration
i bought a ukelele.

you dont even know how to play.
i'll learn.

Thursday, April 28, 2011


i'm afraid. mostly for college, i have decided to become a dance major. i want to be a dance teacher. i know i know. i am not a very good dancer. what do i think i am doing? what possessed me to think that i can do it. i am so full of fear, a dog could smell me from a mile away (dogs smell fear you know). but i think i have something to prove. i know i am not the best. i may not even be good at all. but i am in love with dancing. there are really only a few things i have a deep passion for and that is dancing, music, and fashion. i dream in choreography. and all i know though i am so afraid, is that i have so much passion for dancing. i will work my bum off, i will work thrice as hard as everyone else, i will overcome my accident, i will become flexible, i will work on my technique til my feet bleed, i will be brave. because i want to be a dance teacher. i want to inspire girls and let them know that even though if they may be late bloomers it is never to late to have a passion. for whatever. i don't want to give up. i want to fight. i want to prove that i can do it. simply because i love it.


my boyfriend is a lovely man.
michael bowman bybee. i love you.
today he stopped by on his way home from work (he exterminates pests) just to say hello, talk for an hour, laugh and kiss me goodbye. i still get butterflies bloggers. i still smile as i send him on his way. i never thought that i would be a gush, but here i am finding myself head over heels for my proud and lovely future missionary. i wouldn't change it for anything in the world. feeling this way is lovely.

Monday, April 25, 2011


it's odd isn't it.

. missing something that can seem so silly to others.

but it's not silly. it won't ever be.

it is important.

being heard
for example is important.

so here it is blog readers my message for the day.

don't ever let anybody tell you what is important to you. you know your priorities. you know your passions. no one can run your life besides the person linked to your brain. which last time i checked was only you. live your dreams and never give up. because what you love. it's important.
my other computer has been having a problem with it's "C" key the space bar and the "r" key. so blogging had been put on a temporary stand still. but here i am again. missing my box and the blue and orange of the blogging home screen, so now i am glad to be home.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

i can't sleep.

but what can you do?

Monday, March 21, 2011


don't be anti social. life is much too short to not know people. people change lives. people leave memories inside your heart. people can hurt you and people can heal you. people can snap and people can grow. we are so lucky to be the people that we are. because we breathe. and we make interactions. what people did you meet today. do you remember them? but more importantly did you let them remember you?

Tuesday, March 15, 2011


i am lya. and i am flawed. i have funny freckles on my face and my shoulders are broad. my fingertips are caullosed and i have scars all over my hands. i am lya and i like to watch kid shows and make silly noises. and i like to pretend that i am british. i am lya and i like to eat junk food and run around in nothing but my underwear. and i like to pop my knuckles.

i am lya. and i am flawed. and you know what. that's perfectly okay with me.
janae. lya will you be a bridesmaid at my wedding. you know. in a few years.
me. only if you'll be one at mine. is there a someone?
janae. oh no. just thought i'd ask. i miss you.
me. i miss you too. love you forever.

my memory slips and this is not word for word. but it made my heart smile. jay i love you.


i miss my soul mates. southern bird and northern star and other such beings. i get in these moods mostly at night. and i weep. just slightly. because i miss my souls. my heart gets so busy sometimes that i don't remember that i actually miss things. but then i slow down. and it pings. and i miss my soul mates. and i think i need to see them. sarah. janae. nicole. saria. my heart pings for you. and you are truly my soul mates forever. because yes i think that i can have more than one. in the non-romantical sort of way.


day's pass one by one until forever. day's and time don't stop for one second. so question is are you awake or are you asleep? does time pass and do you watch it. do you see the flowers grow and people change? or does it kick you off your feet before you know what is happening? try and stay awake (figuratively of course) and see the world. see yourself changing. be aware of the beautiful life that is all around. life is so simply short. so take it in.

Friday, March 4, 2011


i have a box. and inside this box lives everything that makes me happy. {letters, cards, gifts, text messages copied onto napkins.} i love my box. i open it i am happy and for a moment i am just a girl. a happy little girl. living in a box. not a care in the world.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011


valentines day. for once i actually counted the days til it arrived. why? because i had a valentine this year. i know. pretty crazy right. well mr michael bowman bybee was my valentine. and i had a wonderful day full of surprises. first a surprise hello when he showed up 3 hours early. second a bouquet of roses (i've never gotten roses before) and lastly a surprise romantic dinner for two at cafe bybee. the day was wonderful and one i will never forget. it's grand to know that someone will have your back no matter what. happy valentines day bloggers. feel the love.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return

if you can't tell i've watched moulin rouge recently.


come what may.

Seasons may change winter to spring
But I love you until the end of time
Come what may Come what may
I will love you until my dying day

And there's no mountain too high no river too wide
Sing out this song and I'll be there by your side
Storm clouds may gather and stars may collide
But I love you I love you until the end of time

Come what may come what may
I will love you until my dying day

Oh come what may come what may
I will love you oh i will love you
Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place
Come what may come what may
I will love you until my dying day

*moulin rouge

Sunday, January 16, 2011


i feel like something is missing. just a small part of my soul that most people wouldn't regard. but it isn't there anymore. we make relationships everyday. and some of those relationships stick more than others. some relationships turn into the people you grow old with or the people who hold your wedding dress while you pee (27 dresses. wonderful show). and frankly they leave an imprint on your soul. something they take with them where ever they might go. a little piece of you. so i suppose what i am trying to say is don't take those people for granted. because when they leave they still will have your heart whether they be in idaho or st george or half way round the world. just tell them that you care. and they just might give you a little piece of their soul to fill in where you gave yours. just a thought anyway.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

southern bird.

fly away
fly away
oh little southern bird
here it is cold
there it is warm
here it is old
there it is new

don't forget me
southern bird.
even though
new birds fly
and new skies call
don't forget
your home.
Sometimes time seems to fly away.
7 hours barely feeling like 1.
and i don't know why
some days are like this.
and some are not.
but still.
i smile.
too know that even if the life i'm living
seems to be flying
i am in fact
still living.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

sometimes... i dream in reality.


snow is such a wonderful thing. cold as it is. and seeing as i don't ski, i have had to find a new appreciation for it. and it really is amazing. little individuals falling from the sky. i think that is what i love most about snowflakes. they are all unique and special. just like you and just like me. similarities. between us. i love you cold snow.

Sunday, January 2, 2011


oh blog readers. it is that time of year yet again. the time for goal making and life preparing. but who actually keeps their new year's resolutions. it is a hard thing to do. if you are like me and struggle with the long term try new months resolutions. this month i will start doing yoga. i will be a better girlfriend. i will eat well. see. that doesn't sound so hard. new month resolutions. they are worth taking a gander.

ode to the introvert.

at night
it hits.
a sting
a memory
a painful aftertaste
that won't wash away.

during light
you are fine.
the sun seems to
the face
erase all.

but the moon
has no humor.

it wants you to cry.
to be alone.
to weep past

but you are stronger
than the moon
than the dark
than the face.

little by little
your scab will form.
if you don't pick it
it will heal
and leave a

a wonderful
a story
to tell.

fresh skin is gone
who is


here is something you've got to try. play a song. any song that touches your soul. and lose your mind. drown in the music and let it become you. it is quite refreshing to lose yourself in something even for but a short time.