Thursday, December 24, 2009


merry christmas blog readers. tis the season to let people you know how much you care. so go ahead. tell somebody you love them. let somebody know they have had an impact on your life. it's never to late to have the christmas spirit and to share it with others. don't be afraid to love. because loving is probably in the top ten best feelings in the world. say what you feel today, because you never know what tomorrow will bring. share the love people. and remember to find the true meaning of christmas. tis the season for love. enjoy your holiday.


i remember when...
we first met in third grade.
we were both weird
and we became best friends.

i remember when...
you started home school
and i cried cause i missed you.
and when you came back
i ignored you.
because i was mad you left me.

i remember when...
i was sorry.
because i ignored you.
and so we made up.

i remember when...
we went sledding
and went over a big bump
and my glasses flew off and broke.
and i was going to kill
the boy that made that jump.

i remember when...
your dad fixed them for me
and we watched the

i remember when...
we went to cotillion
and both looked like

i remember when...
we graduated sixth grade
and we made caps before
school at your house.

i remember when...
we started middle school
and we were both so scared
of growing up
and of new things.

i remember when...
we went our separate ways
and didn't see so much
of each other

i remember when...
i got hit by a car
and you laughed
cause you guessed it was me

i remember when...

you went to st. louis
and i didn't even know.

i remember when...
we decided to be best friends again
and how it happened
so nonchalantly in the halls.

i remember when...
we had adventures together
and we could have fun
being ourselves.

i remember when...
i got in a car accident
you were the first one at the scene
and you held my hand
until my mom could show up

i remember when...
we were at girls camp
and we made a pact
to stay friends forever.

i remember when...
i broke that pact because
i was jealous of your
new best friend.

i remember when...

you forgave me
for being so stupid.

i remember when...
you always made me brave
even when i was afraid.
and how you were
always a best friend to me
even when i was hard to deal with

i remember when...
you'll always be one of
the bestest best friends
i have ever had
and i love you.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009


it makes me sick to think of how jealous i get. how anytime he talks to another girl it drives me crazy. how anytime he's with another girl i go mad. it's like an uncontrollable beast inside me, that eats at my insides until it's freed. this is not at all what i was expecting. but i can't help caring about him. and i guess jealousy comes in that package.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009


it's weird to wake up and be happy. to know you'll get to see that one person in the whole world who makes you smile more than any other. it's like the sun has shone it's face in the coldest darkest cave. the warmth is amazing. being happy is amazing. don't let anyone tear you down. being happy is where it's at. why go through life any other way?

Tuesday, November 24, 2009


don't be afraid to break my heart. i'm a big girl i can take it. you hold back now... you may miss your chance. i can't wait around forever. my heart is broken either way.

Friday, November 13, 2009


sometimes it's simply better to be alone. the only one that can hurt you is you. being an outcast is much easier than having to belong with people who don't want you. some are just born outcasts. not wanted by anyone, always left to be alone. better off that way. you can't change who you are. or you shouldn't... if you are an outcast embrace it. you've been spared the hurt other people bring. you are blessed by being alone.

Sunday, October 18, 2009


dear biff,

you are the bestest friend in the whole entire world. you take my crap, and i take yours, isn't that what friendship is all about?? i'm glad we get along so well even though we can both be brats. but we sure do get lots of laughs. through thick and thin. through drama and boys. i'll be there for you always and always.


cause you're my biff.

and i love you.

Sunday, September 13, 2009


life is an adventure. you don't really plan it. it just seems to happen when it feels like happening... and that is what makes it fun. if we knew what was going to happen all the greatness would be sucked out of our lives. live life like it's an adventure... let tomorrow come when it does and live today to it's fullest.

*adventure is out there*

Sunday, August 16, 2009


not everybody is indestructible. not everybody can take on the weight of the world on their shoulders and just shrug it off. life is hard. life hurts. it's supposed to break us so it can build us back up. funny how that works... how we grow from hard things. and even though it seems that there may be some indestructible people out there, the truth of the matter is... that everyone has to snap. if not they'd never grow. so be careful what you say and do... cause not everybody may be as indestructible as you

Wednesday, July 29, 2009


in order for muscles to grow first they must rip. the ripping process is excruciatingly painful. sore everywhere, sore everything. just like your muscles do, so does your heart sometimes... sometimes it takes a good ripping to grow... how do you really know love if your heart hasn't been broken. even though it hurts to rip... just remember opposition is in all things... even love.

Sunday, July 26, 2009


today is yesterdays tomorrow and tomorrows yesterday. we only get one today, and then it's gone. it's funny how we take so much time for granted... everything has an end, and even though it's hard to think about we all die. we are all dying. funny concept, we live to die. don't regret not living your today's to their fullest. today is today, and you've gotta live it or it's gone before you know it.

Saturday, July 25, 2009


sometimes it's hard to speak up. it's hard to be the one that has to tell the truth. but don't let that stop you. find your voice, whether it be through dance, song, poetry, or anything that is truly you. let your voice be heard. speak up so everyone can hear. your voice is worth listening to. all you've got to do is speak.

i've decided to start speaking in a new way. check out my new poetry blog at

Sunday, July 12, 2009


popular topic of the week... love. how do you know when you truly feel it? i can honestly and completely tell you that i have no idea. i've heard it's alot of pure compassion and self sacrafice. don't get me wrong every one feels love with family... but when that somebody happens love gets exploded to a whole new level no one can really explain... simply unexplainable. i bet its a great feeling... be excited for it. but don't dedicate your whole life to the search. just let it happen.

Thursday, July 9, 2009


i am a different person than i was. i've changed alot. it's weird growing up... but everybody has to grow up sometimes. i remember a time when i was ten and i lay in bed and said i never want to grow up, i want to stay a kid forever. well ten is long gone, and childhood is disintegrating... being a grown up is sometimes a scary thought. but it's different. and i'm ready to embrace the difference. bring it on.

Saturday, July 4, 2009


it's time to make your print on the world... what are you going to do to leave a legacy? are you going to be the one that no one can forget or the one who's name is never remembered... keep tabs on everything you do... for positive or negative you are making a difference in the world... so try to make your print count.


it is officially the beginning of the end... everything i do from this point is the last time i will do it... the last summer band, the last parade, the last fall concert... part of me is okay... but the other is realizing that i have been a part of something that is now ingrained into my heart and soul, and that is going to be hard to walk away from.

Friday, June 26, 2009


it's time to realize... sometimes the best part of life is just existing. being alive on this beautiful place we get to call our home. sometimes our existence doesn't quite go as we planned. but that simply makes it more fun... why should everything go as planned... just exist and see where the world takes you.

Monday, June 15, 2009


it's time to start over. to be new. it's great to wipe off the slate and start fresh.  the road ahead looks unfamiliar. but it is only going up hill. it's time to be the me i thought i was. no more games... my out look is good. life is great.

Thursday, May 21, 2009


stop. rewind. delete. did that just happen?  i want to delete that moment so bad. those few words... those words that just make everything so... different. things we do everyday affect our future. we have to watch what we do carefully because if we let things get out of hand... we can't just turn back the clock and delete. if only it were so easy... the only thing you can do is move on... life is one long continuous story in the making... but this story has no way to delete what has been written... it's permanent.


the world thrives on opposites. without them... how would we learn anything. how would we know hot if we never felt cold. how would we feel great if we hadn't felt pain and sickness.  the world is a weird place in which we need to feel these things. to grow. to learn. and because that's how the world is... i guess i'm okay with that.

Friday, May 8, 2009

no more.

dear everyone,

i want no more apologies. honestly apologies make me feel like a failure. "i'm sorry you didn't make it." i am aware of most of the happenings in my life... and i prefer to not be reminded of my failures with every apology i receive. i know some of you mean it. but lulu mostly doesn't like to hear apologies, she can send her own daggers into her heart thank you.
so please don't open my healing wound. or heaven forbid rub salt into it... that is just rude, and painful. believe it or not... but i am not a huge fan of pain. yeah yeah yeah. i know, who does. anyway... please, i don't know how many more daggering apologies i can take... so no more. please & thank you.

love always,



all i need is time. it only hurts for the first bit... it'll always get better no matter how long it takes.


it's not a grand feeling when your heart is breaking. when you feel like everything you've ever loved was never really yours to begin with. that you had no right to love it like you did. because all it did was break your heart and destroy your spirit. broken hearts are no fun... but they are fixable... there is no reason someone should be left broken forever.

Sunday, May 3, 2009


don't be afraid to put yourself out there... sometimes you get burned but you'll always heal. no matter how long and agonizing the healing process can be. don't regret not saying something you wish you had... life's too short, don't waste it.


so many questions. so few useful answers.


"dance is a poem of which each movement is a word"

dance isn't just a way to move your body. it is a way to express deep meanings and ideas in a new and creative way. it is a way to be who you are and say what you need to say with no words at all. dance is purely and completely what you make it. and that is why i love it.

Saturday, April 18, 2009


it's good to be happy. i love feeling this way... i never want to come down from this cloud i'm on. :) right here right now... it's perfect.


I think that possibly
Maybe I'm falling for you
There's a chance that I've fallen quite hard over you

I've seen the paths that your eyes wander down
I want to come too

I think that possibly
Maybe I'm falling for you

No one understands me quite like you do
Through all of the shadowy corners of me

I never knew just what it was about this old coffee shop I love so much
All of the while I never knew

I never knew just what it was about this old coffee shop I love so much
All of the while I never knew

I think that possibly
Maybe I'm falling for you
There's a chance that I've fallen quite hard over you

I've seen the waters that make your eyes shine
Now I'm shining too

Because I've fallen quite hard over you

If I didn't know you I'd rather not know
If I couldn't have you I'd rather be alone

I never knew just what it was about this old coffee shop I love so much
All of the while I never knew

I never knew just what it was about this old coffee shop I love so much
All of the while I never knew

All of the while
All of the while it was you

--Landon pigg


love is a funny thing... and becomes somewhat of a cliche. how many times to you hear i love you and they mean nothing. i for one... want to be told those words... but have it mean everything... and not be an everyday thing. love is unique... and that's what i love about it.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

just so you know... i love you. and i will always love you. it doesn't matter what happens... just know how much you mean to me... you matter. you will always matter.


life becomes ten times more livable if you learn to laugh at it... shrug the small things.


don't ever forget to tell someone how much you really care. because you never know when time is up. it's funny how things can change so suddenly. don't let the ones you love slip away... we don't have enough time to let things slid away from... never take for granted those who mean the most to you... and you never know when the words that come out of your mouth might be your last.

Friday, March 27, 2009


i'm lost without you. i wish you would understand that i truly care about you... and that more than anything i don't want to lose you... i've lost so much in my life... and i don't want to lose you too.

Thursday, March 26, 2009


i wish... things were different.

Saturday, March 14, 2009


i need somebody to talk to. and not just anybody who will just be feeling sorry for me. i don't need pity. i need a true friend.


it sucks when the only things you seem to live for, are gone. and all the happiness you've ever felt, gone. thoughts come... has anyone ever loved me... is anyone capable of loving me. all identity of who you thought you were is disintegrating right before your eyes. was it all lie. is it all a lie. people always say things they don't mean... but they don't know how much it rips you apart. do they care. does anybody care. people stab you in the back and expect you to trust them. news flash... all trust... is gone. all love... is gone. all hope... is gone. there is nothing more for me here. who i am... whoever i was... is gone.


i hate whiners.... so i'm done whining now.


morp has been the second dance i've been sick for.... out of the total of three dances i've been to this year. homecoming was awesome... until we ate shrimp... which i am highly allergic to. lets just say the bathroom was my best friend that night. and morp was fun... disco and all... until my highly disturbing cough headache and lung infection started bothering me... but for the record... i had so much fun. and i apologize to jackson for homecoming and dan for morp... wow i'm really good at not doing dates.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

rock bottom.

it's funny how everything that can go wrong, will go wrong... at completely the wrong time. you just keep sinking lower and lower and lower. you've hit rock bottom. so what can you do... nothing but start to rise up. once you've gone that low there is nowhere else to go but up. it sucks right now... and that is to be excepted when you are surrounded by all the scum at the bottom of the misery tank. but count your blessings... you can only go up from here.

*a short note of advice*

never say "at least things can't get any worse" because they will normally just get worse.


life is so tiring.... i am drained.

Monday, March 9, 2009


oh well... things happen for a reason sometimes it sucks more than anything we can imagine... but you can't force anything... what's done is done. it's over.

Saturday, March 7, 2009


if everybody was brave all the time... life would be boring. there would be nobody to save and no body to be saved. we are different for a purpose of not having a boring life. everybody feels different looks different and acts different to keep it exciting. so why try to be in the "in" crowd... when even if you are by yourself you're actually having alot more fun then the fake people pretending that they know who they are. yawn... fake people are boring.

over analyzing.

cut it out. over analyzing leads to one thing... pure torture. sometimes read between the lines doesn't mean dissect every possible meaning or scenario... it simply means look a little deeper. like a paper cut compared to a deep gash. why cut deeper than you have to? that only gives you a longer healing process and a lot more blood.


i can't sleep.


it's a weird feeling... being happy. it's always good. especially when you go with out it for so long. why would you live your life in a desert of misery when happiness is a simple glass of water that could quench your thirst. it's weird how humans work. and how we all feel differently. but i'm sick of being lost in the desert. so i'm going to find my oasis of happiness... what about you?

Monday, March 2, 2009


change is good. sometimes it seems to come too fast, and it is very unexpected. but it is good none the less. everyday things change... because the world wouldn't exist if change weren't there to keep it turning. people change too... and sometimes that can come at completely the wrong time. but even though people change, life doesn't have to end... sometimes you think it is for the complete worst... but it's not. change happens for a reason... so don't be afraid of change. it's going to come no matter we do to try and prevent it... so we might as well embrace it... and be ready for what ever changes the world will throw at us tomorrow.

Saturday, February 28, 2009


every girl wants a guy that will stroke her hair, hold her tight, keep her warm, kiss her forehead. a guy that will treat her like she is the only girl on the planet. like no one else matters but them. every girl wants a guy that will call her just to say hello, a guy that will stand with her in the rain, be the shoulder that will soak up her tears, a guy that will hold her hand just because... girls want to feel special... and they want someone who will treat them that way.


it feels good to be secure. to know that someone will hold on and never let go... that someone has got your back, no matter what. security is good...

Sunday, February 22, 2009


when you've got nothing left... will you run away.
leaving behind an empty life... will you run away.
not knowing where you are going from here... will you run away.
when you get hurt... will you run away.
when you are rejected... will you run away.
when life is too much... will you run away?

it's one simple question. with one simple answer that can change you. will you run away? no. i will stand up for what i know... and i won't back down. i will be the person that makes a difference because i didn't run. running only gets you so far.... so why run when you can stay.... and make a change. make a difference. though this life is hard... i'm not going anywhere.

a day late.

so let me get this straight. you say now you've loved me all along.
what made you hesitate. to tell me with words what you really feel.
i can see it in your eyes you mean all of what you say.
i remember so long ago, see i felt that same way...

It's funny how it always seems to work out this way... but what can you do? you can't sit waiting on the one who's been a day late for so long now. you've gotta go for it or... move on. if not you might be a day late with the next great person you meet... realize what you've got before it's gone... cause one day... one day can change everything.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009


it's funny. how one can get so sick of the only place they've ever known. & seem like they've been caged in the one place on this world that they hate most. trapped. suffocating. dying to run away and never ever look back. that's how it is... Feeling like you are on the inside of a glass box... being judged and mocked... but having no where to go. i'm dying to go... one can only go with out air for so long.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

on my own.

I don't know where i've been
and i don't know where i'm going
all i know is that i have got to go
i'm sorry but i just can't stay

I've got to stand on my own
Take this world alone
i've got to fly i've
got to find my wings
i've got to soar
i've got to find what this life brings
but on my own

I never thought it'd be so hard to let you go
and i
've never been so lost here alone
When i find myself i'll come back to you
but right now i've gotta go it alone

I've got to stand on my own
Take this world alone
i've got to fly i've
got to find my wings
i've got to soar
i've got to find what this life brings
but on my own

breaking point.

I have snapped... it seems that the stress of my world has decided to dog pile on the fragile branch of my life... to the point where it can't stand on it's own... it needs support. we all snap... that's just the way it goes. just know that somebody's gonna come and mend your broken branch... you don't have to do it alone if you don't want to.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009


It doesn't matter how many times you say "I'm sorry" none of them really matter unless you mean it. sometimes it's easy to say the words but it is hard to actually mean it. most don't want sympathy... to be pitied upon. they want you to get it. and it's hard to get it. i'm sorry i don't understand. i'm sorry i'm not as good a friend. i'm sorry i can't bail you out. i am sick of meaningless apologies, but at the same time i'm sorry i'm giving them to you. i don't get it, i haven't been there... but i want to. until then i'll be there if you need a shoulder to cry on. or someone to hold you up. let me get it.

Sunday, January 18, 2009


jerk jerk jerk jerk jerk jerk jerk jerk jerk jerk jerk jerk jerk jerk jerk jerk jerk jerk jerk jerk jerk jerk jerk jerk jerk jerk jerk jerk jerk jerk jerk jerk jerk jerk jerk jerk jerk jerk jerk jerk jerk jerk jerk jerk jerk jerk jerk jerk jerk jerk jerk jerk!!! and yes this is dedicated to you curly.


we are growing everyday... we can't help it. sometimes it hurts, sometimes it sucks. but that is how it goes. it is going to suck it is going to hurt... life isn't just taking a step into a kiddie pool... it is taking a huge leap of faith off the high dive. that is how we grow... we take that leap, we push ourselves harder everyday. your going to fall, and it'll hurt.... but everytime you get back up you grow...

don't be afraid to grow... you only get to live once.


with new years come new goals that last a few weeks and then are filed as a lost cause somewhere in the dank and dirty filing cabinet in our brains. everyone seems to want to change in someway or another. everybody can talk about it, but what does that really do? if you want to change shut up and do it. you can be a better you so long as you go and do.... what are you really waiting for?

identity theft.

Be who you are. your voice is one of the single most important factors that contribute to who you are as a person. when that is stolen what do you really have? don't take someone else's voice, how can you be the true you if you are pretending to be someone your not. people will respect you for speaking out as you... not for being an identity thief. your voice is unique you don't need to copycat someone else's to have that special quality. you've already got it. be you not them...

Saturday, January 10, 2009


can you stand on your own? in our lives we have many things that hold us up... we are dependent... we can't stand on our own yet. we don't know what it feels like to fly away from the nest completely yet. we are the 6 year old trying out a two wheeler for the first time... with daddy holding on tight. it's time to let it go.... fly on your own. be your own you. let others help you... but learn to walk by yourself first. so when you are the only one... you can rise when you fall.


sometimes it's hard. it's hard to move on. and sometimes it's hard to choose. you are undecided. and it's going to be hard especially when it comes to being undecided in the boy department. as i established before... the middle man is always involved in everyone elses business... so i know. it's hard. one minute you are totally smitten by one and the next by another. it's hard because neither of them have your heart... but you have both of theirs. it's time to be decided, hearts are fragile things when being toying with. you have to give your heart to one.... it can't be shared any longer... the longer you go the more it's going to hurt.

Thursday, January 1, 2009


a definition is not only a wordy explanation found in a dictionary... it is way to make a statement... to let yourself be known. are you the punk? the prep? the jock? the nerd? does it matter? don't take someone else's definition for you... take your definition of you. you are who YOU want to be. no one can slap a label on you... the definition of you... is what ever you want it to be. look it up.


I dance not to impress... i dance for me. i dance to show the world who i am. i dance to be what i want to be. i dance because that is what i know. i dance in the rain. i dance til it hurts. i dance because i am a dancer...

middle man.

Middle Man noun- 1) the one person who is stuck right in the middle of everyone's drama... namely boy drama.

one word of advice... don't be a middle man... middle man means you are get unnumerable texts from people you hardly know... because your best friend doesn't have texting. middle man means you are entitled to giving up every single bit of information you have to the other party.... sometimes it gets really insanely confusing... expect that... drama is one big fat ugly ball of confusing. just stay patient, endure to the end... because usually at least one of the parties actually mean something to you... and this might possibly mean the world to them... the texts i could live with out... but what ever... once a middle man always a middle man...

P.S. I love you AGENT 72... so no worries... i'll always be there for ya... until you get texting. jk. always... and forever. :)