Friday, March 27, 2009

lost.

i'm lost without you. i wish you would understand that i truly care about you... and that more than anything i don't want to lose you... i've lost so much in my life... and i don't want to lose you too.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

wish.

i wish... things were different.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

need.

i need somebody to talk to. and not just anybody who will just be feeling sorry for me. i don't need pity. i need a true friend.

gone.

it sucks when the only things you seem to live for, are gone. and all the happiness you've ever felt, gone. thoughts come... has anyone ever loved me... is anyone capable of loving me. all identity of who you thought you were is disintegrating right before your eyes. was it all lie. is it all a lie. people always say things they don't mean... but they don't know how much it rips you apart. do they care. does anybody care. people stab you in the back and expect you to trust them. news flash... all trust... is gone. all love... is gone. all hope... is gone. there is nothing more for me here. who i am... whoever i was... is gone.

whining.

i hate whiners.... so i'm done whining now.

sick.

morp has been the second dance i've been sick for.... out of the total of three dances i've been to this year. homecoming was awesome... until we ate shrimp... which i am highly allergic to. lets just say the bathroom was my best friend that night. and morp was fun... disco and all... until my highly disturbing cough headache and lung infection started bothering me... but for the record... i had so much fun. and i apologize to jackson for homecoming and dan for morp... wow i'm really good at not doing dates.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

rock bottom.

it's funny how everything that can go wrong, will go wrong... at completely the wrong time. you just keep sinking lower and lower and lower. you've hit rock bottom. so what can you do... nothing but start to rise up. once you've gone that low there is nowhere else to go but up. it sucks right now... and that is to be excepted when you are surrounded by all the scum at the bottom of the misery tank. but count your blessings... you can only go up from here.

*a short note of advice*

never say "at least things can't get any worse" because they will normally just get worse.

drained.

life is so tiring.... i am drained.

Monday, March 9, 2009

over.

oh well... things happen for a reason sometimes it sucks more than anything we can imagine... but you can't force anything... what's done is done. it's over.

Saturday, March 7, 2009

boring.

if everybody was brave all the time... life would be boring. there would be nobody to save and no body to be saved. we are different for a purpose of not having a boring life. everybody feels different looks different and acts different to keep it exciting. so why try to be in the "in" crowd... when even if you are by yourself you're actually having alot more fun then the fake people pretending that they know who they are. yawn... fake people are boring.

over analyzing.

cut it out. over analyzing leads to one thing... pure torture. sometimes read between the lines doesn't mean dissect every possible meaning or scenario... it simply means look a little deeper. like a paper cut compared to a deep gash. why cut deeper than you have to? that only gives you a longer healing process and a lot more blood.

can't.

i can't sleep.

happy.

it's a weird feeling... being happy. it's always good. especially when you go with out it for so long. why would you live your life in a desert of misery when happiness is a simple glass of water that could quench your thirst. it's weird how humans work. and how we all feel differently. but i'm sick of being lost in the desert. so i'm going to find my oasis of happiness... what about you?

Monday, March 2, 2009

change.

change is good. sometimes it seems to come too fast, and it is very unexpected. but it is good none the less. everyday things change... because the world wouldn't exist if change weren't there to keep it turning. people change too... and sometimes that can come at completely the wrong time. but even though people change, life doesn't have to end... sometimes you think it is for the complete worst... but it's not. change happens for a reason... so don't be afraid of change. it's going to come no matter we do to try and prevent it... so we might as well embrace it... and be ready for what ever changes the world will throw at us tomorrow.