Tuesday, March 13, 2012
i have had a lot to think about recently. and i have come to a realization. it is so hard to find men like my bo. and i have one. i had a dream last night about him, and it came exactly when i needed it. it was an odd dream, of course, but i was awake in the middle of the night wanting to puke my guts out and when i finally got back to sleep he was there. he had come for me. and i knew he always would for the rest of my life. i hate that i'm forgetting what he sounds like and what his hugs feel like. but i know he's where he should be. and i know that i can't give him up. he is my forever love. he is such a special man. and i won't find another guy quite like him ever. so i am not giving up on him. and i will patiently wait for his return in just 1 year and 4 months. it'll all be worth it.
Thursday, March 1, 2012
i am missing a big moment right now. and i can't believe i was too stressed out to even remember. so i fell down in the dumps for a minute, and realized when i needed somebody to talk to all i wanted to do was call bo. i wanted to hear his voice. i wanted him to tell me he loves me. i don't let myself get down very often. about anything really. i have hardly any time for that. but today with midterms on my shoulders and a nasty little sickness i just wanted my love. i know i don't get to have him right now but i sure wish he would come and hold me til i fell asleep. and tell me everything was going to be alright. because we he said it, i believed it. i trust him with my whole heart and my whole soul. my heart doesn't even belong to me anymore. he has it. and i want him to keep it. because even though i'm down right now. i am imagining his voice in my head saying don't worry scout, everything is going to be alright.