Wednesday, December 21, 2011

merry christmas darlings.

happy holidays blog readers. this christmas i challenge us all to give back. think about it. we get so much, we are so blessed. and there are others out there that aren't quite as lucky as we are. the other day i wanted to literally jump out of my moving car to put a dollar in the salvation army bucket. but i was driving. so i didn't. even giving a little bit gives a lot more than we'd think. caroling. reading a book. even leaving a little note letting someone know that you care. everyone wants to be cared about. so how about we reach out this holiday season, and pay it forward. i think in doing that we can all truly find the meaning of christmas. it isn't about presents at all, but the love in giving. have a great 25th bloggers.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

wouldn't you like to be older and married with me.

oh it is love.
from the first time i set my eyes
upon yours
think oh,
is it love?

oh it is love.
from the first
time i put my hand
into yours
thinking oh,
is it love?

oh it is love
from the first
time i pressed my lips
against yours
thinking oh,
is it love?

oh how i love hellogoodbye.

holding out for a hero.

this song gives me chills everytime.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

today is a much better day.

just a smidge brokenhearted.

don't worry... i haven't really had my heart broken literally. i'm still in love. but something is off with me. i'm down. i'm really down. and i am not usually the type to want to be down. i suppose somedays are harder than others. and today for reasons unknown i feel a smidge brokenhearted. i miss my bo. and i've hurt myself. and school is temporarily over. and i'm just a bit empty. but no worries. i'm a strong little lady. and i'll pick myself up. there is always hope of a better tomorrow. being brokenhearted isn't always a forever type deal.

Thursday, December 8, 2011


i remember when you told me that when you first started texting me you thought i had to be fat or ugly because pretty girls just weren't that nice.

i remember when you told me i was the most beautiful girl you had ever seen.

i remember when you told me you loved me and you were so scared that i could barely hear you.

i remember when i said it back and you smiled ear to ear.

i remember the first time we went to the park together, and i sat on the swing and you brushed a stray peice of hair behind my ear very stereotypically.

i remember when we both swung on the swings at the park because we thought it'd be romantic, but really both of us get nauseous on swings, we were just faking it because we thought the other liked it.

i remember when you first held my hand, i was telling you a story about my scar, and you very smooth like put your hand in mine.

i remember when you first took my breath away.

i remember when we first danced together as a couple, to angel by jack johnson playing on pandora as we danced all alone in the back of the elementary school.

i remember our anniversary and how i bought new clothes and went tanning and got a mani/pedi done because i wanted to look absolutely stunning for you.

i remember when you took me to the waterfall and we stood under the freezing water for about two seconds before chickening out.

i remember our last monday together before your mission. and how when i saw you i lept into your arms because i couldn't even contain myself anymore.

i remember when my parents said i couldn't see you before you left, and i was crying hysterically and you calmed me down instead of getting angry.

and i remember how you drove down to see me for just twenty minutes because you wanted to see me one last time.

i remember calling you after you left, and you were crying, which of course made me cry and we had a lovely cry together.

i remember the last words you ever said to me before you shipped off to the MTC. "i love you baby, i'll see you soon."

i love remembering. it makes me really happy. because i know that we have so many memories. and we get to make even more later in life. you aren't gone for a long time. it's just a little bit. so thank you michael for the memories. they are something nice to hold onto when i'm feeling down. i love you, i'll be seeing you. te amo.

Sunday, December 4, 2011


i've been a smidge down lately. maybe it's because of finals coming up. or because semester is ending. i'm not sure... i've just been down. so i've decided to change some things. here is my manifesto on how to stop feeling so down. i know this will be the first step to truly being happy again.

1. Stop bad talking people. every single person in this world is a beautiful son or daughter of God and they deserve to be treated as such. hurting someone whether they know i'm doing it or not is never okay. there is never an excuse for that. ever. so it is the first thing to go.

2. choose the right. i always wear a ring on my finger that says this... but i need to do it more. not in just a religious way... but also in a life way. i need to make better choices.

3. be more social. i need to talk to people. and smile and let them know that even if i hardly know them i care about them. everyone deserves a friend.

This is what i believe i need to start doing to feel better about myself, i've been doing a lot of self evaluation lately and i know that i want to be a better person. feel free to join me on my soul searching journey. i think it;d be good for the world to go through these changes. but maybe by just changing me i can make a difference. a small difference, but a difference all the same.