Monday, October 18, 2010

september fourteenth.

it was dark for afternoon. the storm clouds closed in on my small, little town. it looked like rain. i loved rain. i stepped outside and the harsh autumn breeze blew my hair back and enveloped me in the cold that accompanied fall. the chill pulsed through my entire body. step. step. stop. another gust of the frigid wind caught me from behind, but this time it was not alone. mist brushed my face. thunder. lighting. the heavens opened up and seemed to cry thundering wet tears full of sadness and despair, hoping to drown the long dehydrated earth with its sorrow. i couldn't see. it was as if i were swimming with my eyes open. the world was distorted, cold, and unfamiliar. all from just a day's rain.

the rain painted the sidewalk the dark gray that i loved, the smell of those sweet drops on the asphalt. intoxicating. the street was flooded by the dark shower. yellow lines acting as a halfway through the vicious street river. my destination taunted me. it was so close, but the vast black expanse separated us. step. step. stop. look both ways. cross. run. crash.

the world stopped. flash. i saw a baby with thick midnight hair smiling at a mother. a small girl playing in the grass, a preteen at her first school dance, a teenager sitting at the piano. she was me. this was my life played in hyper-speed back again.

i was moving upward, looking through glass, everything a blurr. i was moving in slow motion, time wasn't right. down. down. down. glass gone, metal showing. the ground was so hard. screams. rolling. rollnig. scream. car. people. voices, voices. there were so many voices. i cab't hear. i can't see. shaking. my body was shaking. i can't stop. shaking. are you okay? moving, moving. my lips were moving. i can't hear. fine. fine. fine. okay, fine. echo's in my head. blood. there was blood. i tasted it in my mouth. i saw it on my hands. another hand. not mine. i'm up. up. blood. Blood. There is still blood. No pain. Just blood. Shaking, shaking. People. So many people. Go away. Shaking, shaking. Bleeding. Fine. Voices, voices. too many voices. Trying to speak. I can't hear. Go awy. Moving, moving. My feet were moving. I can't feel the ground. Shaking. Shaking. i am still Shaking.

Red. Blue. Flashing bright. Whining sirens. I can't hear. Inside. Warm. no more rain. Wet. Wet. I am Wet. Saking wet. Blood. Blood. Bleeding. Sit. Blue men. Orange box. Open. Shut. Open. Shut. Follow the light. Tests. Tests. So many tests. I hate tests. Blue man speaking i can't hear. Blue man mending. I can't feel. Does this hurt. No. No. Nothing hurts. Bleeding bleeding. Always bleeding my ankle now. Fix it. Fix it. Fix me. Please. Stop. Bleeding stopped. Bandaged hand. Bandaged ankle. Red Stains. No more blood.

You are going to be okay. Okay Okay. Adrenaline Leaving. I can hear. I can see. Ouch. I can feel. Pain pinging. Coming back. My head hursts. Rashes on my arms. My legs. My sides. I llook funny like an alien. Voices. Voices. I can hear. The are talking about me. Lucky girl. Lucky girl. Cut and bruised, just a little scraped up. Breathe i am going to be okay. lucky girl. I am a lucky girl. Breathing. Breathing. Stop. I am going to be okay.

i meant
to write about this on the fifth anniversary. but i got so busy and was just now reminded. this is a memoir. of a freshman girl, small as a fourth grader. this memoir was written for a 12th grade english project. which i got an a on. i know it's long... but if you made it this far down i hope you enjoyed.


Sarah © said...

lya, i envy your writing skills.

Will said...

.,... still needs the beat of a drum.. :)