worthless.

stop treating me like i am worthless. because i have news for you. no matter how much you think i am just stupid scum of the earth, that i'm a hopeless dreamer that needs to wake up, or that i'm good for nothing. you. are. wrong. i am not worthless. i'm not. and i'm sick of hearing it over and over and over again. leave me be. i have dreams to go after. and you yelling at me all the time doesn't do anything but hurt you. so shut up and let me live my life. you can't tell me my worth anymore.

miss.

i am leaving. you know that don't you. i am leaving. and i might not ever come back. are you sad? are you going to miss my free soul? i won't know. because i am not you. but i'm hoping you will. i will miss you brown cat, said the free soul. i will miss you free soul, said the brown cat.

spirit.

i am a free spirit. cages just aren't my fancy. i like to fly. it's just getting over the falling that's the trick. sometimes i catch the wind. but i look so far ahead that i can't see the beauty of the clouds surrounding me. i am so future driven i forget to love the now. or at least i forget to tell it i love it. but. i am not going to forget anymore. the future is bright for me. but so is right now. i love you clouds.

begin.

yesterday was the beginning. a terrifying beginning. we were baby birds thrown from the nest and expected not to fall. we had no choice really. unless we didn't try. but i tried. and you tried. some at least. we're never going back to that nest. and i am never going to see any of my other birds again. i am going to miss you. did you hear that the hater said it. i am going to miss you. you don't understand how much. your face. your smile. your personality. i am going to miss everything. but we've been thrown from the nest. and we can't go back. we've got to begin to let our wings carry us now. good luck baby bird. i know it's hard. but we all have to begin somewhere.

why.

it is may twenty fourth today. and there is a blizzard afoot. it is completely white. like someone has put wax paper over the whole earth and everything is a fuzz. there is one question that comes to my mind. why? honestly. why? someone has a really crude sense of humor. snow snow go away come again... in december how about. thanks.

clear.

i walked outside today and it was raining. the smell was divine. i wanted to sit on my roof but i was afraid i would slip and fall and break a fairly important bone. so... i didn't. i like to think on my roof. about life. boys. the future. the current popular topics. everything is good. so amazingly good. there are down sides. there are always down sides. but i like to think. not to hard. not to little. but thinking and the rain and my roof. all just clear my head.

life.

things are okay right now. boy stats... 0/0... and yess that is still one hundred percent. i'm happy. life gets me down. but i've been smiling lately. a few tears shed. but life does that. i'm going to senior ball tomorrow. :) thank you jake partridge. and i will be beading all night. if i have red hands... it's blood from pin pricks. well. i've got work to do. so i won't be changing font sizes today. sorry. have a great one. life can always suck... but smiling makes it suck less.