lost.

i'm lost without you. i wish you would understand that i truly care about you... and that more than anything i don't want to lose you... i've lost so much in my life... and i don't want to lose you too.

wish.

i wish... things were different.

need.

i need somebody to talk to. and not just anybody who will just be feeling sorry for me. i don't need pity. i need a true friend.

gone.

it sucks when the only things you seem to live for, are gone. and all the happiness you've ever felt, gone. thoughts come... has anyone ever loved me... is anyone capable of loving me. all identity of who you thought you were is disintegrating right before your eyes. was it all lie. is it all a lie. people always say things they don't mean... but they don't know how much it rips you apart. do they care. does anybody care. people stab you in the back and expect you to trust them. news flash... all trust... is gone. all love... is gone. all hope... is gone. there is nothing more for me here. who i am... whoever i was... is gone.

whining.

i hate whiners.... so i'm done whining now.

sick.

morp has been the second dance i've been sick for.... out of the total of three dances i've been to this year. homecoming was awesome... until we ate shrimp... which i am highly allergic to. lets just say the bathroom was my best friend that night. and morp was fun... disco and all... until my highly disturbing cough headache and lung infection started bothering me... but for the record... i had so much fun. and i apologize to jackson for homecoming and dan for morp... wow i'm really good at not doing dates.

rock bottom.

it's funny how everything that can go wrong, will go wrong... at completely the wrong time. you just keep sinking lower and lower and lower. you've hit rock bottom. so what can you do... nothing but start to rise up. once you've gone that low there is nowhere else to go but up. it sucks right now... and that is to be excepted when you are surrounded by all the scum at the bottom of the misery tank. but count your blessings... you can only go up from here.

*a short note of advice*

never say "at least things can't get any worse" because they will normally just get worse.